First Of Many

DS started first grade today.

I had heard that the first day of school was one of those Big Days, a milestone to be remembered forever. But since DS had ‘started’ school twice already, with pre-school and kindergarten, I was content to leave it that Lynda the Nanny would take him to school as usual and tell me about it tonight.

I am excited for my son. Nervous too, and anxious to see how he’ll react to all-day school and cafeteria lunches. But he’s made so many gains this summer; I can’t help but get all giggly and jumpy when I think about my little boy going to first grade.

And he’s not really a little boy anymore. He grew nearly 5 inches and gained 7 pounds over the summer. His size 5 body became a size 8 overnight and his shoe size jumped from 12 to 1, completely passing 13. Most of his little boy baseball caps don’t fit him anymore, and he’s taken up golf. Well, okay, putt-putt golf, but he’s really good. Last Thursday night, he beat 4 adults on a tough Sarasota course.

We came home yesterday afternoon from a 4-day visit to Florida to see DS’s grandparents. We were pretty active this time—luckily, my retiree in-laws don’t ascribe to my ‘sit at home and do nothing’ hobby. DS had some huge wins while he was on vacation. He attended a monstrous barbecue/dance party at the temple, and he was all smiles as he shook hands, called people by name and let them touch him without a single shout. He was dog tired, having swum at least 4 hours that day. But he kept himself intact, learning how to dance in a circle holding hands with strangers and how to form the letters in “YMCA”.

We went to Jungle Gardens on Sunday (http://www.sarasotajunglegardens.com/jungle/) where he got to hold a (30 pound!) alligator and stand in flock of flamingos while they preened their feathers and pretended not to notice him. 

The other days he swam, ate pizza, swam, watched golf (seriously-made Grandpa turn off the Olympics), tried clams, and hung out in the pool with Rosen in the way that they do when we’re all in Florida. The 2 boys become inseparable water frogs and spend their days glued to one another as they play tag or try to outdo each other in crazy jumps off the side of the pool.

We were flying back to Chicago, and I noticed that DS was looking out the airplane window.DS is normally very chatty on flights, so I touched him on the arm to make sure he was all right. He turned around and smiled at me. “I’m looking at the clouds, Mommy.”

I asked him if he wanted to read a book. “Maybe later,” he said, “I want to keep looking right now.”

And that’s when I realized he has become his own person. He’s not a ‘high needs’ baby anymore, but an independent boy with his own thoughts. I don’t have to point out clouds, or planes or even people for that matter. He sees things now, and he observes. I am no longer his interpreter; he is his own. He still has his challenges and there is much work to be done, but overall, he's a pretty typical 6-year old who doesn't need his Mommy hovering over him every second, explaining his condition and make way for him in the unforgiving world. Did he ever, I wonder...

With my epiphany came a burning need to take him to school. I'll probably not have another chance like this. He may not want an escort to middle school, and he'll probably have a hot girlfriend who drives by the time he hits high school. So there’s just dropping him off at college left, and that’s too long to wait.

But I demurred. DS is at his best when he can predict what's happening. He needed the consistency of Lynda taking him to school. I had the day off anyway, but I had homework of my own. He could tell me all about it tonight.

But then the house got quiet and then it got to be 8:45 and then 9:00. School started at 9:15. I could walk and still make it if I left Right Now. I jumped up and dumped my homework on my desk. Plenty of time to do homework. My little boy is starting First Grade today.

I changed out of my ‘work at home’ outfit of Howard's ratty t-shirt and lounging pants, stuffed my feet into my trail shoes and hoofed out the door. I chugged up the hills as fast as I could, preparing myself to find the school already in session. The school is 0.6 miles from our front door, and I had about 10 minutes to get there. I put my head down and charged.

I got within 2 hills of the building, and I started passing parents who were coming back from dropping off older children. I picked up my speed and crossed the last street, beating a eighty-something crossing guard to the intersection. He gave me a sideways look as I whizzed by, clearly agitated that I hadn't wait for his ‘all clear’. Sorry, bucko. If you want to direct me in traffic, you'll wave that orange flag a little faster next time. 

I crested the hill and there was Lynda’s car, the lone vehicle in the drop-off zone. The school doors opened and DS’s kindergarten aide came outside, walking toward the car. Lynda appeared from around the front, greeted the aide and then opened the rear passenger door. DS skipped out, wearing his plaid button-down shirt and his favorite baggy cargo shorts. He’d let Lynda spike his hair for the occasion, and he was all smiles. He pulled his backpack out of the car and slung it on to his shoulders. He took his aide’s hand, waved to Lynda and walked into the building as if he’d done it every day of his life.

I kept my eyes on the doors until DS vanished, and then I turned away quickly, dropping my sunglasses into place. I was so proud of him, but still, I couldn't stop myself from crying just a little. My little boy is no longer. He still needs me, but not in the way he used to, and not nearly to the same degree. Suddenly all those things Other Parents said struck me in the heart. They grow up so fast. They’ll be gone before you know it. He's not a baby anymore.

Two years ago, he could barely talk, and any change to his routine would trigger a meltdown. The first time we visited Florida, he ran away every time his grandma tried to kiss him. Last night, we had barely finished unpacking when he asked to call her. We had barely been home for 2 hours, but he wanted to say hello. He told her he loved her, and he made sure to remind her that he would see her again in 124 days.

School lets out at 12:15pm today. It’s just a half day, probably just a day to meet the teacher, set up his desk and have a tour around the place before everyone goes home. Tomorrow, school sets in full-on, 9:15am to 3:30pm. We’ll march to that schedule more or less until early June, when he’s released to wait it out until 2^nd grade.

Oh my. Can’t think about second grade now. I’m still gearing up to sell DS on the idea of bringing his lunch to school, rather than cave in to public school nutrition. But that’s his call, more or less. I put my foot down over ground beef, but the rest is up to him. At least for now. Eventually, I’m sure, he’ll eat a hamburger just to spite me.

So I’m off to schedule his winter swim lessons and perhaps tackle my homework again.That’s plenty for now. At least for me. DS may have other ideas. I’m thinking golf clinics for over the winter, perhaps. No matter what it is, I'm sure he can handle it. He's a big boy now: first grade and all grown up.

A the C(omplete)