Slimming Down
Howard lost his job on January 30.
It was not all bad news. Howard had suffered nearly every day of the 16 months he was employed at the great Chicago retailer. For over a year, he was working any time he was awake, and sometimes he was working when he should have been asleep. It was so bad for the last six months that I couldn’t remember what he looked like without his blackberry posed in front of his face, or without a grim, furrowed frown etching deep lines into his mouth.
Even so, the loss of half our income is a blow. He had 3 good leads right from the start. Two have dried up, and the third, while promising, is sputtering along at an unpromising pace. He refuses to travel, which I appreciate, and he’s flexible on his earnings, which concerns me, but not as much as losing him to the Friendly Skies or to another Blackberry nightmare.
In the mean time, we’ve strapped in, eliminating all extraneous spending. Even our grocery bill has taken a hit: we plan a menu for the week ahead of time, we take a list, and everything comes from the discount market up the road. Budgets are firm, no exceptions. I’d rather have a little less soda now than have to start eating Doritos on sale in a few months.
The upside is that we’ve managed to sock away quite a bit in the last few weeks. And we’ve all learned quite a bit about how to entertain ourselves without wasting money in the process. For example, we rarely used the Wheaton Public Library except for occasional excursions to preview a magazine we considered subscribing to, or to peek at books that were of interest, but held no long-term shelf value for us. Now we’re there Saturdays and Sundays every weekend that DS is around. DS and Howard play games on the library computer and I browse for books or leaf through old Weight Watcher magazines, and we always take books, movies (March of the Penguins!), CDs and new games home for the week. It’s a free date and it’s entertainment rich for everyone.
I’ve started bringing my lunch to work everyday as well. Since Howard isn’t eating downtown anymore, this is a huge cost savings for us. Plus, since I’m fully regulating my food intake and not subsisting on salads all day long, I’m fuller and my weight is stable in the low to mid 150s all the time. Plus, since I take time for lunch, I’m able to read a little bit of non-MBA while I enjoy my maintenance-friendly meal.
One of the books I borrowed from the library was the Beck’s Diet Book by Judith Beck. Her approach is similar to the Weight Watchers philosophy, but is a little more hard core and also a little more realistic in terms of living life as a former heavy person in a fat-filled world. I’ve picked up a bunch of new habits that have slowed down my eating and given me the strength to resist cravings even during PMS times. I feel more stable than I have in years, maybe ever.
In fact, this whole experience has slowed me down considerably. I’m more measured all day long, and more likely to think things through before (over)reacting to bad news. I eat slower, move slower, and have more peace in my mind than I have had in a very long time. This loss of income has transferred into an important growing lesson for all of us. Howard and I are a couple again, rather than two flyby adults living in the same house with a son in common. He’s back on track with his diet, and is rolling around in the joy of being a full-on Daddy. DS, ever the loving boy, skipped all the resentment he was owed for losing his “Rosen” all those months and is now happily crawling all over Howard at night. The two of them found a Math video game a few weeks back and now they spend part of every evening defending the Solar System against some wizard that is afraid of numbers.
Plus, I’ve just surfaced from the hardest course of the MBA program (so far!), so I was able to sneak in some extra homework time while the boys did simple algebra at the desk next to me.
It’s always been my experience that those who get pushed out of the tree always land on a higher branch. I don’t know if that will be the case for us financially; right now it doesn’t seem so. And I don’t know how long this strapping in will have to last. I do know that it’s made us all stronger, and happier, and I intend to keep up the spending freeze once Howard goes back to work. Of course, I might downgrade it to a spending “slush”, but the idea is the same. Spending money does not entertain—at least, not for long. But spending time with my family does, and the return on investment is completely unmatched.
No slick aphorisms this time. I’m truly happy just to have my life and my family back, even if it’s in Discount Mode right now. We’re going to be all right: we already have everything that we need. We’re doing what we love; the money is sure to follow.
A the C(ontented)
It was not all bad news. Howard had suffered nearly every day of the 16 months he was employed at the great Chicago retailer. For over a year, he was working any time he was awake, and sometimes he was working when he should have been asleep. It was so bad for the last six months that I couldn’t remember what he looked like without his blackberry posed in front of his face, or without a grim, furrowed frown etching deep lines into his mouth.
Even so, the loss of half our income is a blow. He had 3 good leads right from the start. Two have dried up, and the third, while promising, is sputtering along at an unpromising pace. He refuses to travel, which I appreciate, and he’s flexible on his earnings, which concerns me, but not as much as losing him to the Friendly Skies or to another Blackberry nightmare.
In the mean time, we’ve strapped in, eliminating all extraneous spending. Even our grocery bill has taken a hit: we plan a menu for the week ahead of time, we take a list, and everything comes from the discount market up the road. Budgets are firm, no exceptions. I’d rather have a little less soda now than have to start eating Doritos on sale in a few months.
The upside is that we’ve managed to sock away quite a bit in the last few weeks. And we’ve all learned quite a bit about how to entertain ourselves without wasting money in the process. For example, we rarely used the Wheaton Public Library except for occasional excursions to preview a magazine we considered subscribing to, or to peek at books that were of interest, but held no long-term shelf value for us. Now we’re there Saturdays and Sundays every weekend that DS is around. DS and Howard play games on the library computer and I browse for books or leaf through old Weight Watcher magazines, and we always take books, movies (March of the Penguins!), CDs and new games home for the week. It’s a free date and it’s entertainment rich for everyone.
I’ve started bringing my lunch to work everyday as well. Since Howard isn’t eating downtown anymore, this is a huge cost savings for us. Plus, since I’m fully regulating my food intake and not subsisting on salads all day long, I’m fuller and my weight is stable in the low to mid 150s all the time. Plus, since I take time for lunch, I’m able to read a little bit of non-MBA while I enjoy my maintenance-friendly meal.
One of the books I borrowed from the library was the Beck’s Diet Book by Judith Beck. Her approach is similar to the Weight Watchers philosophy, but is a little more hard core and also a little more realistic in terms of living life as a former heavy person in a fat-filled world. I’ve picked up a bunch of new habits that have slowed down my eating and given me the strength to resist cravings even during PMS times. I feel more stable than I have in years, maybe ever.
In fact, this whole experience has slowed me down considerably. I’m more measured all day long, and more likely to think things through before (over)reacting to bad news. I eat slower, move slower, and have more peace in my mind than I have had in a very long time. This loss of income has transferred into an important growing lesson for all of us. Howard and I are a couple again, rather than two flyby adults living in the same house with a son in common. He’s back on track with his diet, and is rolling around in the joy of being a full-on Daddy. DS, ever the loving boy, skipped all the resentment he was owed for losing his “Rosen” all those months and is now happily crawling all over Howard at night. The two of them found a Math video game a few weeks back and now they spend part of every evening defending the Solar System against some wizard that is afraid of numbers.
Plus, I’ve just surfaced from the hardest course of the MBA program (so far!), so I was able to sneak in some extra homework time while the boys did simple algebra at the desk next to me.
It’s always been my experience that those who get pushed out of the tree always land on a higher branch. I don’t know if that will be the case for us financially; right now it doesn’t seem so. And I don’t know how long this strapping in will have to last. I do know that it’s made us all stronger, and happier, and I intend to keep up the spending freeze once Howard goes back to work. Of course, I might downgrade it to a spending “slush”, but the idea is the same. Spending money does not entertain—at least, not for long. But spending time with my family does, and the return on investment is completely unmatched.
No slick aphorisms this time. I’m truly happy just to have my life and my family back, even if it’s in Discount Mode right now. We’re going to be all right: we already have everything that we need. We’re doing what we love; the money is sure to follow.
A the C(ontented)
posted by Former Fat Girl Gone Skinny | 8:52 AM
2 Comments:
Wow! What a beautiful piece! You do seem to have lost a lot of anger, and found a lot of important facts in life.
I hope Howard finds a job soon, both for his and your financial security, but for now, it seems you have a stable and fulfilling live. Keep up the good work, and i wish you luck with the rest of your MBA!
I love you, Dear Wife. I am so glad to be back with the two of you, away from the blackberry and the life-sucking job that went along with it.
We miss you here in York but I will be home soon to kiss you both and be with you both forever.
All my love,
Howard
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